Canon Rob's Reflections

At first sight, today’s psalm seems to be a bit of a conundrum! Verse 1 reveals a confidence in God. The author, having waited a while, knows that God has heard his prayer. His faith is confirmed by answers received. Then, from verse 12, the last of the verses set for today, doubts creep in! “Do not withhold your compassion from me, O Lord…” This is a plea for help! Yet it is more than that. The psalmist’s mood swings from the joy of recalling that God has helped him in the past as we read in verses 2 and 5 especially: “He brought me out of the roaring pit, out of the mire and clay; he set my feet upon a rock and made my footing sure.” [Verse 2.] “Great are the wonders you have done, O Lord my God. How great your designs for us! There is none that can be compared with you.” [Verse 5.] The mood changes though as we find in verse 12, referred to above, and then – beyond the verses set for today – there is a deep fear and anxiety about what may befall him: “For innumerable troubles have come about me; my sins have overtaken me so that I cannot look up; they are more in number than the hairs of my head, and my heart fails me.” [Verse 13.] This is followed by a plea for help, “Be pleased, O Lord, to deliver me,…” How is it that the author of this psalm can be so confident in the Lord in one verse and then so anxious in another? As you reflect upon the verses set for today, you may find it helpful to reflect upon this question because the answer is easier than we might first think. Rather than being a conundrum, this psalm expresses what many, if not all of us, will experience in our lives. Even the most faithful of us.

Reading today’s psalm to prepare writing this Reflection, my mind took me back to the priest in my home town who was the greatest influence on my becoming a Christian when I was 18 years old. Father Jack, as everyone called him, was the right priest at the right time for the council housing estate in which I grew up. He was down to earth but he was also deeply prayerful and his eyes were fixed on heaven. Yet, as I got to know him well, he spoke to me of his doubts and the many times when he experienced what he called, “the dark night of the soul.” He could experience great joy, which he shared with his faithful congregation, but he could also experience the depths of despair wondering where God was, as he shared with a privileged few. His was a terrible burden to carry and, tragically, he committed suicide during one of those “dark nights.” Perhaps the author of today’s psalm knew something of the same highs and lows. Indeed we all experience highs and low in our faith though, praise the Lord, not usually to the same extremes. We will have days when life is good and we know that we are loved by God and that He is with us. Yet there will be times when we feel anxious or afraid and our faith in God is tested and we may even doubt that He is with us, or even exists. “How can there be a loving God if He allows….to happen” is something we will have all heard and you may have said it yourself. Perhaps, to a greater or lesser extent the psalmist speaks for us all.

Is this a rather odd psalm to be chosen for this joyful season of Epiphany? At first sight, perhaps yes. However, several verses are very positive, expressing a deep trust in God and verses 3 – 9 are words of hope. In verse 3 the author tells us that God “has put a new song” in his mouth and that many shall “put their trust in the Lord” just as he has. Verse 6 suggests that he can’t find the words to praise God enough. Then in verse 8, in three short words, we find commitment to God’s Law and what God is calling him to: “Lo, I come.” Here we find echoes of Isaiah’s response to God’s call, “Here am I; send me.” [Isaiah 6.1-9] Even more appropriate for this season, we can recall the words of Mary when the Angel Gabriel told her she has been chosen to bear God’s Son. “Here am I, said Mary, I am the Lord’s servant, as you have spoken, so be it.” [Luke 1:26-38. Good News Bible.] Pray that we may all say “yes” to God when he calls us as Isaiah, Mary and all the Saints did.